Scars Are Where the Light Comes In

I have such mixed feelings about this — but I wanted to share anyway.  It tugs at my heart a bit that my kid processes his experience this way — but I’m so proud that he’s not afraid to share it.

About a month ago my son’s leadership class was asked to share an experience with the school that they felt had a major impact on their life.  Here’s his presentation at the student assembly:

“Many people have scars in their life that make their life change, My life changed about 5 years ago before i moved to Washington. Five years ago mom was diagnosed with pigmented villondular synovits, a joint disease that affects the lining in her knee and had developed a tumor.  After she had it removed, she was pregnant with my little sister.  She went into heart failure when she gave birth to her.  She also has a mitral valve stenosis — a heart disease she was diagnosed with when she had me thirteen years ago.  One of her valves is severely scarred and doesn’t function properly.  Three years later she was diagnosed with lupus — a degenerative  autoimmune disease that affects her joints and skin.  After getting very sick, it was difficult for her to work at a regular job and she just decided to be a stay at home mom.

Eventually, my stepdad found a better paying job — so we moved to Washington from North Carolina.  All the events leading up to the move have been very difficult and my mother and stepfather have had to make some really hard choices.  During it all though, we have become a really close family.  My mother has time now to take better care of her health and us.  She even brought my two cousins to Washington with us so that they could have a better life too.

My moms illness, moving to Washington, leaving my friends and my grandparents, and my father behind in North Carolina has made a big impact in my life.  I would consider these the things that have scarred me — but also made me into a strong person.  My mom says her physical scars — on her leg where they took out the tumor, and on her heart where she had surgery — are where the light comes in.  Now that we are all happy and healthy and in a place where we belong, I think the same thing about the scars these experiences have left on me.”

Phew. That’s my kid alright.

This post has nothing to do with my boots except that I took them off to write it

More blogging about blogging.

I rambled a little on Sunday about how blogging is like exercising. Or couponing. If you don’t do it enough your head gets overfilled with ideas, just like my dining table with coupons.  And starting up again — phew — that’s the equivalent of my hitting the treadmill for the first time in months. NOT a pretty site.

But sometimes there isn’t a trick to it — there’s  no magic calendar. No magic reminder alarm going off on my phone. No rubberband around my wrist reminding me that there was something I forgot to do (snapping it to sting yourself is also a nice Pavlov’s dog exercise by the way).

Blogging, exercising, couponing (although that’s a stretch) — are all the same. The only way to do it, is just to do it.  There’s no right way, there’s no wrong way, there’s just doing it.  I used to think I would start writing more when I got my blog page looking exactly the way that I want it.  Or I would start couponing more if I had the right binder. Or I would start working out more if I had the right pair of tennis shoes and matching ponytail holder (LOL — that’s a lie —  hahahahhaha…..)

I had a not so great doctor appointment  yesterday. Without getting into too much detail, I’m reminded of my health issues.  I sometimes forget. The pill popping and the pain become such a normal part of my every day life that I have learned to let it just happen in the background.  But blood tests bring it back to my attention and I’m having to think about my to-do list.  I have my every day tasks.  I have my children tasks. These overlap in many places. These things are important to me.  Most important to me.  But then there are my just for me tasks — and these are the ones that take the most effort.  And they shouldn’t. These are the things that make me feel most like me.  Sure I love the things I do with my children, and I love volunteering at the elementary school, and I adore watching my little one in swimming class. But every once in awhile we deserve to do things that exercise our minds and our hearts and our bodies. Getting those things in sync is my biggest challenge.  (I’m preaching to the choir here — I know it mamas.)

In the interest of self-preservation today, put yourself first and cross off a to-do on your me list. Even a small one.

Blog post. Done. : )